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Self-quarantine or Yogic turning inwards – How to live with yourself and be happy and healthy

In these times we are hearing some unusual phrases and receiving some unusual advice, such as “social distancing!” “use pranams, namaste instead of hugs and embraces!”, “do not travel” “stay at home, work from home!”, “public health responsibility”.

If we are not going shopping, entertaining ourselves outside, not rushing about, what are we going to do?  Can we live with ourselves?  Can we really follow the Yogic lifestyle “simple living, high thinking” that we have talked about? How do we rethink our priorities? How can we go on appreciating life in face of this changing world around us?

How do we face the Virus outbreak positively and healthily, as yogis and yoginis, as healthy members of our society, helping to maintain a healthy environment?

Here are a few reminders from the Yogic teachings:

1. The connection between breath and prana.

The more we breathe, the more prana (life energy) we have. Prana is stored up and used when needed. We should not stop breathing practices out of fear of the virus. Kapalabhati cleanses your lungs. Choose places in nature to do your breathing exercises.

2. Besides breathing, you can increase your prana (life force) many ways. You can live a pranic-debt-free life,  accumulate prana instead of spending.

The key is to turn to Mother Nature and reconnect with Her. Live in nature, get prana from:

  • the earth (walking on earth instead of driving, contemplating the mountains and trees, doing “forest bathing”, gardening),
  • water (bathing in the ocean and streams, natural ponds, drinking fresh water),
  • fire (being in sunshine a little daily, drinking warm water, eating warm food),
  • air (do abdominal breathing to get double intake of oxygen and expel tension and fatigue through long exhalation) and
  • ether (be in good space and good environment to support you. Pay attention to feeling of negativity in isolation as it leads to depression and addiction.)
Swamiji meditating by the Yuba River which is recharging pranic energy.

3. Prana is connected with the mind, the emotions and thoughts.

Positive thinking makes you feel strong and energetic. Cultivate joy, appreciation, gratitude. Convert fears, anxieties to courage, faith, self-confidence and contentment. Write down and share five points of gratitude each day for mental health. For example, ”I am grateful for my health”,  “I am grateful today for the fresh air I can breathe”, “I am grateful for the good food I have today”, “I am grateful for friends and family”, “I am grateful for this life at this time”.

4. Concentration of mind brings strength of mind and boost the immune system.

Keep yourself busy at home if you are not working. Catch up on the household chores or organization or cleaning. An idle mind is a devil’s workshop. Pay attention to obsession on negative thoughts. This is not proper practice of concentration which needs to be on positive thoughts.

5. Concentrate on positive and uplifting thoughts

Concentrate on sacred mantras such as OM, or uplifting objects like flowers, trees, blue sky, the movement of the  breath in and out of our lungs. Stay away from distractions. Distractions bring viruses to the mind. Keep your mind strong and elevated. This supports your immune system.

6. Remedial measures and healing by specific mantras

Consciously repeat the sacred mantra “Om namah sivaya” . Lord Siva can drink poison and deal with the virus. The more you repeat a mantra, the better it is, as mantras work cumulatively, by repetition. Also download and play at low volume in your house, even at night, the well known “maha mrityunjaya” mantra for protection, healing and liberation Om Tryambakam… This will give you a positive and reassuring background of thought. If you know of someone who is sick, address the prayer to the person in your mind and send them the healing powers of the mantras by your chanting of this mantra, either 3 times, 9 times, 27 times, 54 times or 108 times.

7. Conquer your fears by affirming your inner strength

“Om Sri Durgayai Namah” or “Om Dum Durgayai Namah”. You can use a strong form of the mantra of Goddess Durga who is our own inner strength dwelling within us. This will remove the effect of Rahu in our confusing times (which brings fear and delusion). This continuous mantra repetition for at least 108 times, also seeing the form of the Goddess riding the lion with her 8 arms will bring calm and courage.

Durga represents our own inner power and strength. She holds the weapons of all the Gods.

8. Remember “What you think is what you become”

Think of strength, you will become strong. Think of weakness, you will become weak. Think of disease, you will invite the disease. The reality you live in is the reality of your thoughts. You are the master of your destiny. If you cannot come up with positive thoughts yourself at this time, read books from the Masters. They will inspire you. Stop feeding yourself with social media news and stop feeding yourself with negative thoughts of others. Even if others are negative or anxious, remaining calm and strong will help them.

9. Remember the Vedantic teaching on Truth and Reality

Detach from your own feelings of worries and assert your true nature as powerful spirit, the disease-less Atman.  Ultimately the world as we see it is unreal, because it is only what our mind is thinking and projecting out, a habit reinforced by countless repetition. You have had countless fears and traumas before and you will see now many reasons to be afraid again (you will a see snake when there is only an innocent rope because the idea of the snake and the fear of the snake is in your mind).

Wake up, bring the light of wisdom and see things as they are. Things are not so bad. The virus is not so terrible. Our own weakness and readiness to let go of our self-confidence and mastery is the problem. Do not waste energy in drama and worries.  This is just a test how strong you are. Apply the yogic principles and be victorious!

10. Assert your healthy Self and know that you are the master of your body and mind.  The internet world is not the only reality

The internet amplifies and distorts. There are a lot of “verbal delusions” and “likes and dislikes” surrounding you. These are the types of thoughts (vrittis) that will bring you pain. Fewer of these is better. If you want to keep yourself informed, browse the news from authoritative sources quickly and get back to your grounded self. Your body and mind are your instruments.  Your health is in your hands. You are not a victim. Do what is necessary (Wash your hands, be prudent, limit desires and needs) and take care of your health with self-confidence. 

Siva also has the name Neelakanta – the one who drinks the poison of the world and remains unaffected by it.

11. This is a great opportunity for us to rethink our priorities

This is an opportunity to focus and change our lives by adopting new and good habits. You do not need much to be happy. Happiness is within when you calm down the mind. Let go of attachment to things the way they were.

12. Change our stressful lives by the practice of contentment

This is a great opportunity for you to spend time with yourself. Do more Yoga, not less. Do more meditation. Turn the mind inwards. Yoga helps you to be with yourself and have clarity. “Social distancing” is a great concept promoted by Yogis long ago. In the yogic context, it means not to depend on outside relationships for your happiness. Not to be needy and searching outside for happiness or support.  Less social life, more inner life. Less thoughts, more peace. “Yoga chitta vritti nirodhah” 

Namaste to yourself and others and find your strength within your own true Self. Love yourself! You will then find others as your heart opens. You are never alone. You are the essence of all. Connect to your wisdom heart. This is a good time to do it. The Universe is giving you this precious opportunity to do this.

Conclusion

This is a blessing in disguise. Turn inwards. Less travel, less movement. More opportunity to practice. More clarity. Instead of seeing this as depressing, see it as an opportunity to turn within and go straight to our own goal of happiness. Indeed, it is a blessing in disguise.  

Practice the above step by step. If you need more guidance, we are here to support you.

Role of Yoga Teacher in Time of COVID-19

Role of Yoga Teacher in Time of COVID-19

Zoom talk by swami Sitaramananda March 13 2020

Yoga teachers as leaders

The important thing here is that we are uniting together as yoga teachers, Sivananda Yoga teachers.  We have a mission to be leaders in time of need and to help people.  Which way we can help people is the topic of today.  So I hope that you have seen my video and my article.  If you have not, please do read it, “self-quarantine or yogic turning inward:  how to live with yourself and be happy and healthy”.  There is an article about this and it’s been also translated. So in this article there’s already a lot of teaching that is there that you need to communicate with people in your own way.  

If you have difficulty communicating with people, then please write to me so that I can explain in a few words what to say and do.  For example, if you want to help people convert from fear to self-confidence and faith, you can write to me.  The idea is as a yoga teacher you need to feel that you have a responsibility.  Sometimes we sit in our corner and we do not really know what to do.  The meeting is for that reason, for you to know what you can do.

Thought Power: Time to Spread positive thoughts

The first thing you need to know is that this is a pandemic, but also this is a situation that touches the whole world, and it changes the vibration of the whole world.  The whole world is in a panic, in the worrying and questioning mode.  It is very important that yogic teaching is known at this time so people will turn from negative thoughts to positive thoughts and know the cumulative action of thoughts.  This is what the yoga teacher needs to know, that his or her thinking is not only relating to him or her, or the people that are in the same room or house with him or her. 

The thinking together as a collective consciousness, the positive thinking, affects the whole world.  Now more than ever we need to be aware of that.  We need to be aware that our positive thinking or positive talk affects the world and the way we can help the world to heal and to uplift their consciousness is to more consciously practice our sadhana or yoga.  It is so important that you see everything collapsing, changing and the whole world is in lockdown. What that means is people will stay at home and they have a lot of time, things stop, what are all of these people going to do?

This is a moment of transition, a moment of choice, either we are going to be depressed and you will go down with everybody or we are going to rise up. That is why the teachers need to play a leading role.

Raise vibrations with mantras

Most importantly what a yoga teacher needs is to know that his / her thoughts are important. It is very important that you raise your thought vibration by continuing to do your practice.  Even though you might think that you are alone in your house doing your practice, you need to do it for the sake of the world. When you do your practice, yoga and meditation, it is not only improving your life but also improving the vibration of the whole world. 

So the easiest way to increase your vibration and help the world is repeating Mantras.  Those who have been Sivananda yoga teachers know what is a Mantra.  There are a few Mantras that you can do, now more than ever, and gather people together to repeat the Mantras because of the collective effect.  It’s like adding the energy together and you know that, when you add energy, you don’t just add energy to your country but you add energy to the whole world. 

We need to create this positive vibration to balance out all the negative vibration.  It is a question of knowledge, not just of blind faith.  That means that you know that vibration or thought or Mantra thoughts have effect.  You need to repeat a few Mantras and teach people to repeat Mantras as well. Sit together to repeat Mantras.  It helps them to have a strong mind, but also it is radiating out.

Good mantras to use in this time

Take the mantra “Om Namo Narayanaya”.  With your heart, you send the Mantra out.  You know that it helps people to bring them to peace, to calm.  The Mantra of Lord Shiva can remove poison, protects you and brings you to high consciousness:  “Om Namah Sivaya!”  You can record this Mantra and play so people can hear all day long and they can learn also how to pronounce it correctly. The next mantra is a mantra of protection and strength.  Goddess Durga is very powerful and she can calm down all fears and all delusions.  People are completely crazy and you let them hear this mantra and also not only hearing but seeing the picture.

I have seen many times people with panic attacks.  I made them repeat the mantra of Durga and I made them see the picture of Goddess Durga, and it calmed them down.  Goddess Durga is very powerful because she can fight with all the demons and the negative forces within your self and outside of your self.  The mantra is like this: “Om Sri Durgayai Namah”.  Swami Vishnudevananda allowed us to use the strong form of the mantra of Durga with the bija mantra “Dum”.  You repeat it like this “Om Dum Durgayai Namah!”  Please record this mantra and give it to people to listen and broadcast it.

Now is the time for us to broadcast mantras. Usually we don’t broadcast mantras because people need to be initiated into a Mantra, but now in this time of need, you can work on the mantra “Om Namo Narayanaya”, which is the mantra that Swami Vishnudevananda decided to broadcast a long time ago to help the world. The Mantra “Om Namah Sivaya” is very good because of the virus. The Mantra “Om Sri Durgayai Namaha” or “Om Dum Durgayai Namaha” is excellent because the world is in panic mode.

Mantra for healing

There is another mantra that you can use, record, broadcast and play which is the Mahamrityunjaya Mantra, an excellent mantra for healing and for liberation. If you know people that are sick or very upset mentally because they lost their loved ones, the people that have died, or they are afraid of sickness, you can use this Mantra “Om Tryambakam Yajamahe Sugandhim Pushthivardhanam. Urvaarukamiva Bandhanaan Mrityormuksheeya Maamritaat”. 

Please record this mantra and play if you have in your household and your community people that are very anxious. The best thing is to record this mantra and play it at low volume all the time, 24 hours, so they can hear it. Even though they might not understand it but it brings peace to their mind. For the people that just died or they’re on the sick bed, the best thing is to play mantras for them. Every yoga teacher needs to use his / her consciousness. You cannot really repeat the Mantra with only your lips, but rather you have to repeat the mantra with your heart, because consciousness or God is dwelling in your own heart.

Chant mantras with heart and consciousness

It is now the time for you to connect to your heart. When you want to send the mantra to somebody, in order for you the assure the healing power, physical healing and mental healing and also spiritual healing, then you need to do it with your own consciousness and with your heart addressing to the community or to the country or to the person that is in need. Everything really happens in the psychic world – the spiritual world. As a yoga teacher, this is the best time for you to apply.

You need to focus your mind and it’s like a prayer so you can deliver these masses of energy. Basically you have to imagine like this, that you are delivering masses of energy to an area of the world. You don’t need to run there and bring some water and some supplies but you are using this very powerful method of sending positive energy. In the psychic world, everyone receives it.

They might be confused at that time because their senses and their mind are switching their consciousness to another level but in between there will be times when they will be calm and they will be praying then they will receive your prayers. That’s the first action that all yoga teachers need to do, to spread positivity, by Mantra and also please read my article on how there’s a connection between Prana and thought.

Connection between Prana, Thought and Immunity

The more that you do things to increase prana, the more that you are strong and your immune system will be strong to prevent disease. You need to explain that to your students and to your family, the link between Prana and thought. Prana is that which you can find in nature. There will be a talk later about how you can get prana in nature, so you need to explain to them the link between prana, thoughts, emotions and immunity.

The best thing to prevent the world from being sick is to increase immunity, which is the fighting mechanism that nature has given us in order for us to prevent diseases. The prana needs to be high, so you need to increase the prana by absorbing the prana from nature by having a proper lifestyle, eating the right food and also by not spending the prana through negative thinking, worries and actions that are mindless.

Decrease expenditure of Prana through negative thinking

Train your mind. Concentrate your mind, doing mindfulness, mindful actions, the more the prana will be high, the more that you prevent disease, and you will have high immunity. Increase the prana intake from nature, decrease the lost a prana through the senses and through your thoughts, your worries and your negative emotions.

It is a very simple mathematic formula:  increase prana, decrease energy waste. We will talk more in detail how you can lose prana and how you can increase prana.

  1. increase the spreading of positive energy by mantra and positive thoughts.
  2. increase prana, decrease the expenditure of prana through worries and negative thoughts and through too much information that you cannot digest. When you get too much information that you cannot digest, automatically you would be stressed. Gather the information that you can digest. It’s like food. If you eat too much, you cannot digest then you have toxins. If you eat the food that is not fitting to you, then you also have toxins. You need to do that.

Comforting people, be humble, learn to listen

The other thing that you need to keep in mind is that, in this time people need comfort. Not merely calmness but they need a comforting kind of presence and comforting words. Of course you cannot meet each other like before, you are in quarantine but you can call people on the phone and talk. You know that your presence is important. Sometimes you have some kind of feeling with people and relationship and you don’t want to talk to them, but now it’s a good time that you transcend this kind of limitation that comes from ego, relationship dynamics.

It’s good for you to call people, your friends and relatives, and reach out to your neighbors maybe by phone or email so that you can give comforting words. It’s very easy to give comforting words: “how are you, how are you doing, we are concerned about you, is everything okay, we love you “- these kind of comforting words, and offer empathy. Empathy means we understand why you lost your job, you are at home and you don’t know what to do and you’re depressed, you’re worrying. We understand. Just offer empathy by listening.

People need to be able to talk out their worry, so then at that time you have to just listen but without trying to give an answer because really truly nobody has an answer. Be humble and just try to listen, not only engaging people when you feel that you have an answer.  Nobody is having an answer but it’s very helpful to just listen to people.  Listen to their voicing out whatever they’re worried and concerned about. That’s enough to help them to feel comforted and to calm down. So know that it is a need to be listened to.

Physical Relaxation

The next point is you need to help people to increase relaxation because this is a time of stress. Know that there are three levels of relaxation. The first level is physical relaxation, because when your mind is tense, your body will be tense. By asana and simple stretch, you let the prana move, you are more relaxed. Savasana or tensing and releasing with attention are a very good exercise.

Maybe your family members or your neighbors are not ready to practice yoga; maybe they still have some kind of prejudice against yoga. It doesn’t matter if you just tell them to lie down and to do some stretch, tense and release, and use their mind to relax their body. It’s called Savasana or physical relaxation, releasing the tension from the body by stretching.

Mental relaxation

The second level of relaxation is mental. What that means you need to understand clearly. When the mind is distracted, it is not calm. When the mind is distracted, the mind has a tendency to worry. It needs to be concentrated. The best thing is that people concentrate on repeating Mantras, singing kirtan, reading books, and studying, but they need to keep their mind focused on something positive.

That is called mental relaxation, when they focus on something positive. It is wrong to think that mental relaxation means your mind is empty. It is wrong because when the mind is empty, it is time to worry. Even though you might not be aware, but thoughts of worry and all kinds of imagination can come into the mind when it is idle. Make sure that people understand that.

Spiritual Relaxation

The third level of relaxation is called spiritual relaxation. Spiritual relaxation is when you know who you are. Most of us are in the dark. This is not only virus crisis, is not only a mental-emotional crisis in the world, but also it is a spiritual crisis because we go on and denying the spirit. We got lost in the consumer world and technological world, and we can go on living our life very rajasic or very externally oriented. We don’t take time to sit down, to think, to study, to introspect, to make wise choices, because we’re being pushed here and there by the senses, by the pressure of advertising, by consumer society.

Now is the time also to spiritually rethink. Spiritual relaxation comes when you have more knowledge of the truth, of this life, when you have more knowledge of yourself, (called self-knowledge). That comes only when you are able to meditate or you have faith. We can talk about faith another time. Try to get people to relax, physically relax, mentally relax and spiritually relax. The more they are calm and positive, they are spiritually relaxed.

Nature helps people to relax

Being in nature is helping people to relax. Maybe you have to be quarantined in your house and you cannot go out but you can look at your plants and take care of your plants or flowers. Look through the window and look at the trees. Anything natural will help you to relax. You have to do it, focus on nature. Yesterday I had people doing an exercise in our advanced TTC class here, an exercise of contemplating nature. Nobody has to go anywhere.

Actually we sat in one place and we just looked at the tree and we looked at the water in the pond, looked at the dog that is passing. We were just contemplating. By being still, learning how to contemplate, everyone experiences a state of calmness, and not just calmness, but a state of joy and unity. This is exactly what we mean when we talk about spiritual relaxation. There are a lot of techniques of yoga that can bring you to that state. We will have a subsequent other kind of teaching so you can make use of all these. Yoga is the wealth of information that you can apply.

The more you apply and the more you see that it works, the more that it encourages you to use it more. Before yoga was regarded as marginal, but now you can see the world is collapsing the way it is, so now is the time for yoga and yoga teachers to bring the secret techniques and methods out and serve the world. There’s no time to lose. This is the time. I talked about relaxation and you need to explain to people that the way they can take care of their fear and anxiety is through increasing relaxation, physically, mentally and spiritually.

Yoga for overcoming anxiety

Now I just give to the yoga teacher a few tips. Actually we study all this in the yoga health education course that is very handy now because we train people to become a health educators, basically in a time of disease, what to do. Here are a few pointers. How do you teach yoga for overcoming anxiety?  The first point is that you need to help people to improve the breath, body and mind awareness. Improve breath, body and mind awareness with rhythmical breathing. Just breathe with the diaphragm to get more oxygen, but also use rhythmical breathing, and then it will help.

When you do asana, make sure that people coordinate their breath with their movement and do pranayama. People are afraid sometime to breathe because they are afraid of bringing in the virus. It’s a kind of wrong thinking because it creates more tension. Unless you are already a yogi that you can hold your breath and survive but you are not an advanced yogi so you need to breathe.

Now the best thing is to find nature to practice breathing. You might not be able to go out in the street but you can open your window. You need to ventilate your room and your house. Don’t just close the windows. You need to sit near to the window and you need to breathe. Do pranayama. In general for yoga teachers, you need to know that now is not the time to do intense variations, intense yoga asanas. It’s the time to do gentle yoga to slow down so that you allow more mindfulness, more awareness in your breathing and in your movement. It will counteract the fear and anxiety. You need to do restorative yoga.

If you don’t know what is restorative yoga then you can learn. Basically it is be in very relaxing postures and put some kind of props like blankets and pillows on different parts of your body, on your chest primarily, but also on different parts of your body. It feels like weighed down and comforted. The focus is on mindfulness, awareness, slowing down and be comforted.

Asanas for stress resilience

The second point is to increase the prana, which I said already, by moving the body in order for the prana to move. If you feel that you are stuck and if you feel that you are panicking, then the prana is blocked. At that time your thought goes down more. You need to just keep moving, but in the yoga postures in order to move the prana and to balance the flow of prana.

It is very important at this time because it will help you for your stress resilience. People will increase in their capacity to deal with stress if the prana is balanced. Simple moving of the body, stretching but moving the body in the way of yoga, right and left, backward and forward, in a balanced manner with awareness.  At that time the mind will be balanced and you increase your stress resilience.

Improve Mental-Emotional Balance

The third point is to improve the mental-emotional balance.  The mental and emotional balance is most effectively accomplished by regulating the breath. If you feel tension, you need to learn to exhale, calmly and as slow as possible, so it releases the tension. Let’s say you are talking to the neighbor and the neighbor is panicking, you can say on the phone to the neighbor: “OK, calm down now, just exhale slowly. Inhale and exhale to the count of six. Inhale and exhale to the count of ten.

Go very slowly and they will calm down. Then the breath needs to go with the movement and the concentration of the mind. The awareness and the concentration need to be there. People cannot do yoga when they are stressed. Why? Because their mind is obsessed with something external and they cannot do yoga. At that time, you tell them to lie down, to stretch, to breathe, and then to concentrate on the breath.

Learn Ayurveda: Increase Ojas Shakti to avoid burnt out

The forth point is that for yoga teachers you need to know that you get burned out and the virus can attack you. One Ayurvedic teacher stated the virus is a pitta disease, which means too much heat in your body. That’s why more relaxation is important. And if you have too much heat and too much anger and too much thinking and too much stress, what you are doing is burning out your ojas, which means the helpful energy to sustain your life. So you are burned out.

What you need to do is to increase the ojas shakti, which means the power of sustenance of you own body that would bring you contentment, gratitude and the sense of relaxation. The key is increase ojas. This is the subtle energy that is taught by Ayurveda. This is a good time to learn Ayurveda and apply the Ayurvedic principle in your diet and your lifestyle to increase ojas, by sleeping well. When you see people that are anxious, they cannot sleep well. You need to apply some warm oil on your body, on your head. You can use warm sesame oil.  Heat it up and anything warm, even warm water can be put on the body.

With warm water, you can rub your body. It is okay if you don’t have oil, but anything warm. You can eat properly. When you are stressed, you are going to do nervous eating. You are at home and you have the canned food that you have stored. You don’t know what to do, so you eat the canned food and sugar so it calms you down artificially. This is the worst thing to do. You need to eat very nutritious food, simple food. The essence of the food will feed you, feed the ojas and it helps you to calm down. If you have ghee, you can take one or two spoons of ghee in your food, and then you will be nourished.

Almond drink is also very good for increasing ojas. You need to have a positive feeling and connection to the Divine. That will also give you the direct connection to the source of life, and that will sustain you as well and increase your ojas Shakti. In this time of virus threat, you need to increase your ojas Shakti, which means increasing your quality of life, and not to destroy your life by wrong habits. It’s a time to be much more careful of what you eat, think and feel.

Increase the sense of safety

So now the fifth point we have already talked about.  It is to create the sense of security, of warmth, of quiet and of support so that people feel safe. Okay, the key word is feeling safe.  To let go of the worries and the defense mechanism because if you feel worried and your fight-or-flight response is increased, then your defense mechanism will wear you out.

So it is important that you relax, that you activate your parasympathetic nervous system by many different means, yoga asana in a conscious manner, rhythmical breath, all this is helping or increasing your parasympathetic nervous system activation and also the faith that I talked about. So use the right brain, increase the faith. If you have some kind of spiritual practice you need to do it now. Do not waste your time in worry but use your time in prayer. Decrease the defense mechanism in the mind.

Increase the detachment attitude

The sixth point is what I talked about a little bit already, the relaxation, but I add on now you need to change your attitude towards life. The attitude before we have is the attitude of being passionate about life, passionate about enjoyment of the senses, rajasic attitude, running here there so your life feels like more meaningful because you are experiencing everything and you are enjoying everything. So that is called rajasic kind of activity. And you need to decrease these kinds of rajasic activity and you need to increase the detachment attitude that means a meditative contemplative attitude towards life.

You step back and then you find the fullness within yourself and you detach about what is going on. We must think about this more and there is more teaching that needs to be involved in this matter because even though it is not that easy but basically I just give you a taste of this. You need to be detached towards your actions and the result of action, that means your work, your money and your life. Be detached from it. If you attach to it then you have more worry, so try to be detached from the result of your effort and the result of your action. I know it is difficult but still that is the way to go.

Either you worry about it and you cannot do anything about it, and then you will make yourself worse and then you get disease because your immune system is low or you can just basically take the stand of being detached and to be in the present. Then you will be more recharging yourself and things are not that bad. So basically change your attitude towards your whole life should be more detached be more centered.

The best person who can supports you is your Own Self

Point number 7 is you need to experience the connection with your own self and to others so the sense of connection is very important for mental health. People talk about social distancing; everyone needs to stay away from each other, not moving. But then people don’t know what to do. So they stay home and they are depressed. They miss their friends. They miss their social activities, so they are depressed, angry and worried. This will make things worse. You might help in not spreading the virus, but you are increasing the spreading of the negative virus of the mind.

When people are worrying and they send the negative thoughts out to the atmosphere. You need to be aware of that. You need to help people feel the connection to their own Self. These yoga techniques of asana, pranayama and meditation are helping at this time for people to feel the connection with their own Self. We are having the bad habit to always think of something external or somebody external to ourselves is supporting ourselves. And these relationships are very essential for our well being. Fine and good. You have your supportive network, your friends and people that you trust and love.

This is very good. I don’t say anything against this. But what I am saying is that you need to have your own support system in your own Self. And you need to turn you mind inward in order for you to find that support system within your own Self. And that would help you because even if you have your loved ones, they cannot be there with you 24 hours 7 days a week. They cannot be there for you all the time. And then you feel let down, worried and anxious when they are not there. So the best person who can support you is yourself. Turn inward, feel the strength from within.

Do Self Affirmation

Do Self-affirmation. Let’s say you never think about this kind of thought before. And now it is the time for you to do Self-affirmation. Right down the sentence and repeat yourself many times. “I am content and happy with myself.” You say something like this. Day by day, everything is improving, everything is better in every way. So say things like that: “I am happy with the present moment”. Do Self-affirmation, something that you feel is good.

The positive thought that helps you, and at that time you keep repeating that thought, because that thought will gain more momentum and more power in the psychic world and then at that time it helps you because when you are panicking, this thought will come up to the surface of the mind and will help you. You have to do Self-affirmation as a habit. Create a gratitude list. So your heart keeps opening, your worries and negative emotions, anger and frustration come only when you have your heart closed. Your heart becomes limited and closed, then you have the tendency to blame and to be negative.

This is not the time to blame, to be negative, you should not blame anybody, and try to cooperate and not blaming. Everyone is trying to do their best. If you blame people to lie, to cheat, to not do the right thing, you are sending more negativity in the world. Try to send positive energy. Try to focus on the positive, not on the negative and the blaming.

Teach a gentler Yoga class

So now the last point, in the yoga class, when you teach the yoga class, I said already, teach a gentler yoga class. It is encouraging and calming. That is the best that you can do. Of course in the time of social distancing and we advise that yoga teachers should not correct the students. You can teach people online. You can use Zoom, video conferencing, in order to teach people online. But only if you have people at a room in your house, it is advisable that you have them sit at a separate distance from each other and you are not touching them, correcting them.

So with your voice, that is what you can do. You can use the voice, the verbal cue with people and correct them. It is very important for yoga teachers to remember is to wash your hands with soap in the beginning and at the end of the class. If you do teach people, everyone needs to wash their hands with soap for at least 20 seconds, with awareness, as much as you can. That is the only way right now to not to spread the virus. We said a few tips for yoga teachers already.

Restoring Faith, faith gives you stronger immunity

The last point that I have before you ask questions is restoring faith. The idea is the virus comes from nature, and then we become suspicious of nature. We become afraid of nature that can be also, you can say, nature is God or Goddess, is the universal presence around us we call nature. So we need to reconnect with Mother Nature instead of being fearful and blameful of Mother Nature. You need to recognize that you have mistreated Mother Nature, not be as aware of her presence as you could.

You maybe have acted like a spoiled kid and think that mother will always be there for you. And when mother is upset, and she spanks you, you get angry. But you need not be angry with Mother Nature. That is my point. You need to rely on her, even though something is manifesting which you perceive to be negative and it comes out of the blue and it is mysterious, and you don’t understand but still you need to have you heart open toward Mother Nature. You know that she is there to take care of you, that she loves you and she gives you everything that you need. But stop acting like a spoiled kid and remember her. So restore your faith in nature. Those who have faith toward your particular god, prophet, religion, name and form of your faith, it is very good because you have your faith. In time of need, we usually turn toward our faith. We learn how to pray.

So what I am saying is you need to restore your faith. It is not the time to doubt even though the tendency is more to doubt at this time, to be anxious and doubting. It is the opposite of what you need to do.  And you need to reconnect and to be appreciative and to pray. Why? Because faith keeps you going. In time you want to control but you cannot control. You want to understand but you cannot understand. At that time, faith is what you’ve got. Faith keeps you going and faith gives you stronger immunity. Faith gives you strength. This is the time to relate to our faith, not the time of doubt. Of course you have to do the thing that is needed. There are practical things that you need to do to not spread the virus, not to be sick yourself, increase your immune system as we talked about ealier. But you need to take care of your own spiritual Self, or your God. Try to find the connection with God.

For some of you, it might be not something that you are used to, but it is never too late for you to understand that you are never alone, that you are not in control. It is some intelligence that takes care of things, in a bigger scale than you can currently see. For a yoga teacher, it is very important to have strong faith, because you have to be positive and guide the students.

Vedanta philosophy about the Self and the Not Self

For a Vedanta student, Vedanta is Yoga philosophy, then we talk about the Self, and about the detachment toward the things that are transient and changing, and to discriminate, to know the difference between what is permanent, and that which is changing, which is the Self and that which is the not-Self. You need to have some basic education in Vedanta philosophy, which is Yoga philosophy in order for you to understand how to do this.

But in general you need to remember that there is some presence within you, consciousness within you that is there, no matter what. You need to tune to that. That consciousness can be seen outside as hands of God or the Divine, or can be seen inside as your own inner deeper presence.

Yoga Teachers and Health Educators need to be patient

That’s enough talk and we need to keep rehearsing because one time you hear, one time you practice is not enough. I’ve been doing this for almost 40 years basically, just rehearsing and rehearsing, hearing it again and again. For yoga teachers and health educators, just know that it is not one time that you need to say to your student to calm down. You need to be very patient, to repeat again and again.

Be available to the students and people because people hearing one time is not enough. Your presence needs to be there steady and constant, and you need to be repeating. Don’t be afraid of repeating yourself. It is not the question of information here but it is the question of self-transformation and to help people to go more deeply within themselves.

Swami Sitaramananda is a senior acharya of the International Sivananda Yoga Vedanta Centers and is director of the Sivananda Ashram Vedanta Yoga Farm, California and the Sivananda Yoga Resort and Training Center, Vietnam.  She is acharya of China, Taiwan, and Japan as well. Swamiji is the organizer and teacher of the Sivananda Yoga Health Educator Training (SYHET) program, an 800-hour program on yoga therapy, accredited by the International Association of Yoga Therapists (IAYT).

Swami Sitaramananda is the author of “Essentials of Yoga Practice and Philosophy” (translated in Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, and Russian), “Positive Thinking Manual”, “Karma Yoga Manual”, “Meditation Manual”, “Swamiji Said, a collection of teachings by Swami Vishnu” in His Own Words. She is responsible for the Vietnamese translation of “Completed Illustrated Book of Yoga” (CIBY) and “Meditation & Mantras” by Swami Vishnu. Many of her video & audio lectures on Yoga life, philosophy, and psychology as well as articles and webinars can be found on this website.

Swami Sita is an ardent supporter of the integration of the Vedic sciences such as Vastu, Jyotish, Ayurveda, Yoga and Vedanta. She is an international teacher of the Sivananda Yoga Teachers’ Training Courses and Advanced Yoga teachers’ Training courses, as well as Meditation and Vedanta & Silence Courses both in Sivananda Ashrams in Vietnam and in Grass Valley, CA.

Lord Siva and Detachment

Lord Siva and Detachment

Happy Sivaratri. Om Namah Sivaya! 

On the occasion of Sivaratri, the festival of Lord Siva, celebrated by millions, this is an offering to help understand how contemplation on Lord Siva can guide us in our life.

Lord Siva is the Lord of Yoga, and represents what yoga and meditation practitioners are aspiring towards. He is the Adi Guru, first guru of yoga, and taught the science of Hatha Yoga.

Symbolism of Lord Siva

He is often depicted with eyes half closed and half open. This represents an ideal state of mind that yoga practitioners want to achieve, of being “in the world and out of the world”, seeing the world of names and forms and changing phenomena that we live in, and at the same time seeing the essence of it, as opposed to seeing the manifested world as devoid of spirit and intelligence.

He also is depicted with the third eye open. This means that we are encouraged to see the world with our eye of intuition, or with a mind that has been purified of its lower propensities such as anger, greed, lust, hatred, jealousy and envy. Intuition is higher than intellect. Intuition can be developed only when we transcend duality, or the left brain/right brain split. It includes devotion, or pure love, while intellect might miss half of the picture if there is no pure love in the thinking, or when the thinking is motivated by the ego. 

Lord Siva blessing Parvati, while Parvati worships Siva

Lord Siva sits on a tiger skin. This shows that to attain to an elevated state, or to be successful in our yoga and meditation endeavours, we need to control our passionate, lower animal nature. Lord Siva accepts all creatures, for example insects and scorpions, thus he shows pure compassion for all beings. He is an example of pure detachment.

Siva is beyond the 3 gunas

Holding the three pronged trident, he indicates the journey of transcendence beyond the 3 gunas, the 3 qualities of nature: tamas, rajas and sattwa. The journey is from the state of tamas when we are in darkness, in ignorance, unawakened, and in denial of our true nature of peace and happiness, to the state of rajas. When rajas becomes predominant we experience a mistaken, separate identity, perform egoistic, self-motivated actions, and are judgmental of others, seeking for happiness externally. We then move to the state of sattwa  and experience purity, harmony, calm, peace, knowledge, balance, wisdom, understanding and a non-judgmental attitude. Eventually we transcend these three states of mind altogether, to reach to the transcendental Siva or Yoga. Thus Lord Siva is said to be the ideal symbol of detachment and self-control. 

Lord Siva has a snake around his neck. The snake represents mystical wisdom, and is related to the “serpent power”, the spiritual energy known as Kundalini Shakti. He has the Kundalini as his ornament, having completed the journey of self-transformation and purification represented by the journey of the spiritual energy through the chakras. In His being, Siva (consciousness) and Shakti (manifested nature) are together. Lord Siva represents for embodied beings such as ourselves the pure state of absolute bliss or being, where there is no reincarnation, no mistake, no karma, no desire.

The Ganga water flows from his head, this is the symbol of perfection and liberation, where the nectar of immortality flows from the highest chakra. Ganga water is purifying. The being that has attained this sublime state has the capacity to purify all who come in contact with him or her. 

Siva represents austerity, physical, mental, emotional, & spiritual

Lord Siva is sitting meditating on an icy mountain top. He represents the Yogi who practices austerity or tapas. The mountain represents a high ideal or hard to obtain goal, for which you have to climb and struggle. The yoga practitioner is encouraged to struggle hard to conquer the senses and the emotions, to do austerity, or tapas, and lift his being to a high level of stability and endurance in any conditions or circumstances. Physical tapas is to bear heat and cold. Mental tapas is to keep one-pointed concentration among distractions. Emotional tapas is to be able to bear insult, bear injury and stay calm among conflicts and controversies. Spiritual tapas is to dissolve all facets of ego in the Lord. 

Siva rock painting at the Sivananda Ashram Yoga Farm

Attachments bring suffering

My teacher used to say “we would not have come to this world if we did not have attachment to anything.” We have come to this world with our karmic tendencies and our likes and dislikes. We are always running towards something and running away from something else. We get attached to what we like, and we are afraid to be exposed to what we do not like. These mental and emotional preferences keep us in this world of sufferings. It is attachment that makes us suffer. Detachment frees us from these long formed tendencies and allows us to see a bigger picture of ourselves and others.

There is both temporary detachment and more lasting detachment. Lasting detachment must be based on discriminative intelligence and deep thinking, so that we understand the defects or the true nature of something and resolutely turn away from it. Temporary detachment is based on fear of pain, for example when we became “detached’ from ice-cream because it gave us stomach pain. But soon we forget, and will be tempted again with new names, new forms of ice cream!

Think about the defects of this world, and cease to run after happiness in the external. Introspect and think about how many times you have suffered and caused sufferings due to illusions and attachments. Detachment seems to give pain in the beginning, but at the end, it gives joy. Attachment seems to give pleasure in the beginning, but at the end gives pain. 

Conclusion

Our whole journey is the journey to learn about detachment. May you contemplate on Lord Siva and become an embodiment of detachment and clear thinking. May you stay away from the temptations of the lower mind, the distortions of a split mind,  and balance your mind  so that you can go to sattwa and eventually see through the veils of maya.

May you attain liberation from suffering through self-knowledge and wisdom.

Swami Sitaramananda, acharya ISYVC

Swami Sitaramananda contemplating on Siva at the Ganges River in Gangotri, Himalayas, North India
Forgiveness:  A talk given by Dr. Fred Luskin

Forgiveness: A talk given by Dr. Fred Luskin

This talk is part of the Sivananda Yoga Health Educator Training (SYHET) course, and was done on a zoom call.

Dr. Fred Luskin

  • Consultant
  • Director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Projects
  • Associate Professor at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology

Sivananda Yoga Resort and Training Center, Dalat Vietnam, 15 January, 2020

In this talk Dr. Luskin outlines the procedure for forgiveness.  This talk was transcribed (with some editing for clarity and brevity) almost verbatim from a video which was recorded on a zoom call.

Introduction

Dr. Luskin is a psychologist and for over 20 years has run the forgiveness program at Stanford University in Northern California, USA.  In this talk he explains the process of forgiveness as he is teaching around the world with many different groups.  He is helping the SYHET students develop skills for counseling people with health concerns.  Please see his biography at the end of this transcript.

Story of Pain

I had a terribly painful experience of being abandoned and betrayed by a friend who was very close to me.  One night he brought his new girlfriend for a dinner party at my home, and then suddenly cut off all connection with me. 

I held this negative event in my mind for several years, and later realized that I was ruining my life, missing all of the good things in my life because of it.   I was arguing with my wife, not appreciating my child, hating my job, and I was miserable, because I was holding on to the story of this event. 

In one extreme moment of anger, I noticed that my whole body was strongly affected by the reply of my ex-friend when I tried to reach out to him with a sincere letter and he sent a very short and casual reply on a post card.

Choosing what is right

Then came a painful (but also very helpful) moment with my wife when she strongly pointed out my problem to me.  Some time later, while at the supermarket, after being frustrated beyond my capacity with a relatively small problem, and having another intense physical reaction, I had an amazing flash of revelation. 

I recognized that I have a choice of paying attention to what is wrong in my life, or paying attention to what is right in my life, and no one else owns that choice except for me.  The moment that I had this realization, I told my wife that I was sorry that I had harmed her so much with my bad mood.

Blaming a friend

Then I got in touch with my friend and agreed to meet him, and basically tell him the same thing, that neither of them were responsible for my bad mood, but rather that I was responsible for my bad mood.  When we met, we had a very interesting experience, because I had already forgiven him.  I realized that he harmed me, and that harm lasted for a year.  And then I harmed myself, and that harm lasted for the next two years!

Those two years were not his responsibility, but I had blamed him for my misery.  I had blamed him because I could not handle my own life.  When I recoginized that fact and I saw him, we did not actually talk about his abandoning me.  He was open to me, I had forgiven him, and we had an uncomfortable half hour, but since that half hour we have again been best friends for the next 25 or more years.

Stanford Forgiveness Project

I had let go of blaming him for harming me, because I saw that when he cut off contact with me, I used the situation badly and harmed myself.  We then developed these insights into the Stanford forgiveness project, I have written the best-selling book on forgiveness, and we teach people all over the world how to do it.  What I will try to do with you is lead you through some of the processes.

Practice Session

First, please think of something in your life of something that you have not forgiven that continues to haunt you in some way. 

Then you can turn to someone near you, and talk about what it is that you have not forgiven, and why you have not let it go. 

It does not have to be anything very serious, and not something that is so overpowering that you will become emotionally overcome talking about it. 

Just choose something that you have not forgiven, describe it, explain what it was, and why you have not forgiven it and can’t let it go.

practice…..

Understanding Homeostasis

What we came to understand over all of those years is that forgiveness is mainly a story-telling problem, a matter of dealing with the stories we create about our life events.  What you have is a “default network and setting” in your brain that tries to keep you in what is called homeostasis, where all of the body’s functions can continue in the normal manner.  This homeostasis keeps you “level,” meaning in the proper balance. 

Depending on the level of tension that you have, and depending on the level of stress that you have experienced, you have a homeostasis which is anywhere from very calm to very anxious.  The important point here is that you consider your current state “normal,” even though it may be quite angry, anxious or disturbed.

The more sensitive, angry, anxious, etc. that your homeostatic point is, the more you have mental verbal stories that are designed to keep that homeostasis in tact.  So if you are an angry or anxious person, then many of the stories that you tell about your life are designed to keep you from changing.  The stories are keeping the body the as it considers normal.

Not knowing your own tendency

Very often angry people have no idea how angry they are!  People in a hurry have no idea how much of a hurry they are in.  People who are anxious and skiddish have no idea how they appear to others, because it is so normal for them.  When you have suffered or when you have been hurt, you go through a natural period of grieving, where you come up with a story to help explain your experience in a way that will generally fit in with who you are.

If you are a generally kind-hearted person and if someone does something nasty, after a while you will get around to some explanation of “well, you know, they did not mean it, or maybe I took it wrong, or it was just a really tough experience for them.”  If you are an obnoxious person, then you will come up with a story that makes the other person wrong or which has them with bad motives, and you can stay comfortable being exactly who you are.  Some experiences, however, are outside of our normal range, and therefore we have to adjust to them. 

The stories we tell ourselves

The thing that happened to my friend was outside of my normal range.  It was outside of homeostasis, and the way I had organized my mental life.  So I came up with a story that reflected that being outside of my normal range, and it changed me.  The story was that life was not fair, life is terrible, and you cannot trust people.  

The story changed my day-to-day vibration and perspective, and that is what my wife complained about.  She would not have complained if I created a story that fit in with who I was.  But I created a story that changed who I think that I am.  It changed my physiology, and not just my perspective.  It changed my biology, and that is what all of your stories do.

Your stories cement your biology in place, and they are how you change your biology.  So if you are practicing meditation and you have a story that you are not good at this practice, then you will get very minimal results.  But if your story is that I am good a learning new things, I am open to new experiences, you will get much more benefits from the meditation practices and it will take much less time for the meditation to change you.  So if you think that meditation is not anything important, you would have to have very deep meditation experiences before you would be convinced that there are benefits.

Change the Story

With forgiveness, we see that if we create a negative story, we tend to ruin our lives through that story.  The story changes our biology, changes our nervous system, and prevents new information from getting in.  So if our story changes our outlook to “I cannot trust people” then we see a different world than we saw before the story came.  We have now altered the world that we see and the body of the person in that world.

So this is why unforgiveness is so dangerous to us.  These stories tend to either alter who we are.  If we are generally a positive person, we change to a more negative view, or if we are already a mistrusting person, the stories tend to cement this negative view more into who we are.  So ultimately what we understood is that forgiveness is a change in story.  We can change the story, even though we cannot change what actually happened.

The change in our homeostasis makes it very hard to change the story, so many of us are stuck in these stories of what happened in our childhood, a lover that left us, or we are critical of ourselves, and these stories limit our capacity to grow.  If we can see that what happened is not the fault of our past, or the actions of another person, we are will to change our stories, but until then we feel justified in blaming someone else for ruining part of our life, and it is the blame that is so toxic to your well-being.

Blaming is not the answer

Blame is a quality that by itself leads to helplessness.  It also leads to hostility, that is we say, “Because they did something my life is not as good as it could be; it is their fault,” instead of admitting that my current situation is actually due to my own inability to cope, which is the truth.  Because we are not able to cope with the situation, we create a story that keeps us stuck.

Practice Session 2

Now we do another two exercises, this time in altering stories, to help you to be able to change.  Please go back to the first person and tell a short story about what happened to you.  But then take a longer time to explain how that story is now keeping you from creating peace in your life.  So our problem is not about the past, but rather about our inability to create a story right now that will bring peace for our current life.

In my case, I can say that my friend harmed me.  And that was true for some time.  It is not true that my friend harmed me for five years.  But then I made bad choices about how to handle the situation that kept me suffering, I was ignorant about how to grow past the situation, and it took me years to figure that out.  Whole countries and groups of people are getting together and creating stories about how another group of people is responsible for their lives not being peaceful or happy enough. Forgiveness is changing that story.

Practice changing the story

So now you can go to the first person, and give a short summary of the story you have about how they harmed you.  Then begin to tell a different story that will begin something like, “You know, actually the truth is that it is not their fault that I have not forgiven them.”  The truth is I just did not know how to forgive, or I did not practice it, or I had no skills as to how to deal with this.  That is not a crime!

But the truth is that I did not know how to make peace with this part of my life, and it would be good to learn how to make peace with parts of my life that hurt.  With the other person you can now talk about how to create a narative that will help you to move past the problem in your current life, rather than talk about what was done to you in the past.  This is just a first pass, but I ask everyone to try.  You can explain what it was about yourself that kept you from moving forward, and how you can now learn to do so.

Perhaps you grew up in a house that did not teach you these skills, or this event was too painful, but you want to recognize that now you need to learn, grow and change in order to improve your life.  That is the deep shift that occurs in forgiveness, from blame and helplessness to “there is something that I need to develop.”  Now please begin the exercise.

practice…..

First step in Forgiveness

OK, thank you for doing the exercise.  Usually it takes longer than the time I am asking you to do it, about one hour.  However, it can be done more quickly than you think, when you educate people and you have them practice different stories.  Because it clicks into people when they realize that, “I have some control of what comes out of my mouth.”  If you have been talking for some time about how bad part of your life is, the first step in forgiveness is to stop talking like that.  It is simply to shut down that talking.

If people have been wounded, and they have never had the opportunity to talk about it, then talking about it is essential.  So if you are a health educator, and someone discloses that they have an issue that they have never told anyone about, never had the opportunity to talk about it, then you need to stop right there and give them the chance to tell you about it.  Of course, you must feel comfortable talking with them about the issue, and be theraputically attuned so you are able to deal with the issue.  If they want to talk about some serious abuse, probably you should send them to a therapist.

Encourage sharing

If they tell you that they are suicidal, you should send them to a therapist.  But if you think their issue is within your scope of practice, which you have to be extraordinaraly careful to maintain, you should give them your attention, because step one is talking about it.  You need to encourage them to share it (but only in a safe place), because you want them to talk.  Research done on people who have had difficult experiences in life shows that people who heal the least are the ones that do not share.  People who hold in their traumas do not heal.

Share with the right people

The second-worst healers are the people who tell everybody about their difficulties.  You may meet someone and they say, “I had a terrible childhood, my ex-husband was a bum, I got fired from my job,” and you have never met them before!  This type of person does not heal either.  It is not quite as toxic as not talking about it, but it is definitely unhealthful.  What is healthful is to get it out, short term, to a small number of trusted people. 

You could say if there was a significant trauma two months ago, it may be appropriate and helpful to still be talking about it.  But if it happened three years ago, the best strategy is to simply stop talking about it.  We can apply the technique of “shut up the next time you want to complain about it.”  This is the way we can forgive and heal.

Don’t let the story become a habit

This formula is simple and obvious, but most people do not recognize how much they influence their physical and emotional reality to keep telling the same stories over and over and over again.  Many people repeat these stories so much for so long that they actually get stuck in the habit, to the extent that they no longer can choose what they are going to say and how they are going to say it!  That is the real danger. 

If you call you ex-husband a bum for six months, it is very hard in the seventh month to think of them as anything but a bum.  If at the age of 15 you started telling the story that you had a terrible mother, then by the age of 30 it will be very hard to change, because by then your whole body has adapted to that story.  You have arranged homeostasis around that story, and that is not a healthy place to be. 

Allow yourself to feel the emotions in order to heal

If people have not talked at all about the trauma, of course they will not be able to heal at all, because they must process the emotions before they can achieve forgiveness.  We call this processing grieving.  And people must go through this grieving to help them move past the hurt in their lives.  So first they must experience the emotions.  If someone hurt you, you may have to experience the anger, if someone left you, you may have to cry, because this is the first step to heal which comes before forgiveness.  But if you are around someone who already grieved, got angry, cried, and told the story for some time, then it is time to stop talking about it.

A story can become an addiction almost in the same way a chemical can become an addiction.  So it becomes a pattern, you have no control, and no way to stop telling the story or changing it on your own.  You do not get any benefit from telling the story again.  The first step to change is to admit that you have a problem.  You say, “I have a bad habit of talking about this with everyone I meet, and I do not know how to stop.  Can you please help me?”

Don’t become the victim

Only you create a “victim.”  When you talk about the event in terms of, “there is nothing I can do about this” you become a victim.  This is what we do in forgiveness work.  We tell them that there is absolutely no value in telling the story again.  You are actually laying down more neuro-pathways, making it more difficult to change.  This stuff is so simple that it was hard to believe that it came as news when we started using it.  And many therapists actually argued with us!

Positive Intention

Here is the way we approached it:  we call it “positive intention.”  It is asking yourself the question, “In that particular situation what was I looking for, what did I want from it?”  For example, you were trying to get a job or perhaps a romantic relationship, which is probably the most common situation that causes people to need to forgive.  More people have stories about ending of relationships than any other situation.  The vulnerability we have with intimate partners is the most sensitive that we experience.  These events are outside of our normal homeostasis. 

Let us say that you have had a terrible breakup of an intimate relationship.  The approach here is to ask yourself what it was that you were looking for in that relationship.  For example, “I wanted this relationship to have someone to enjoy life with, share with, have fun with, grow with, etc.”  You want to be honest about that reason.  It does not matter what the reason is, but you want to be positive about what you were looking for.  “I am not giving up on wanting to get that because this time it did not work out.” 

In my example of losing my intimate friend, I have to say, “I loved the situation of having such a wonderful friend, but it did not work out.  However, I am not going to give up on having a wonderful friend just because this particular friendship did not last.”  And so the story shifts from the past to the future.  The story shifts from this was what was wrong, what I did not get, to this is what I am now working to get.  So this statement is our positive intention.  We say, “Why should I give up trying to get what is important to me?”  We can still reach the goal but in a different way.

Practice session 3

So now please go to a different person, and this time, work on telling the positive intention story.  You can start with, “OK this difficult thing happened and it was very bad, very painful.”  But then you state the positive intention:   “This is what I was trying to get, and instead of spending much time obsessing about how I did not get what I wanted, I want to learn how I can get it in a different way.”  The unforgiveness story looks backward whereas the forgiveness story looks forward.  The unforgiveness story is blaming the other person for not getting what you wanted.  The forgiveness story is moving forward to get what you originally wanted.  It says, “I will not let this event stand in my way!”  It is a complete difference of mental representation.  Your body, not just your mind, shifts.  You develop an entirely different neuro-architecture.

Meditation to quiet the nervous system

Now I will have you do some very simple meditation practices.  The reason for these practices is that if you do not quiet your nervous system, it is hard to cement the result of the other exercises. 

  • So now please get into a position so that you can sit comfortably for five minutes.  From my stress management purposes, I suggest that you not have a perfectly straight posture, but rather focus on having soft shoulders and a relaxed body. 
  • The main thing is to be able to breathe properly and easily, with a relaxed abdomen. 
  • Please bring your awareness to your lower abdomen.  The key here for stress management is that when you inhale your abdomen expands, and when you exhale, your abdomen contracts. 
  • Now bring an image to your mind of a person that you simply adore.  Bring an image to your mind of a human being that you just love.  You actually feel the love.  You want to cultivate your own heart.
  • And now let go of that experience and allow your eyes to open.

This is the other thing that we teach about forgiveness, that you just touched where it lives.  Forgiveness lives in your open heart.  And you never get there by arguing about the past, by blaming people, and being full of self-pity.  You get there by opening yourself up to love, beauty, kindness and gratitude.  When your heart is open, you pretty much already know how to forgive.  That open heart of yours can already do it.  It is not complicated, not a big deal. 

Go to the love in your heart

But we never go there.  We do not go to the part of us that loves anywhere nearly enough to solve our life’s problems, and so we stay stuck and unhappy.  But when you touch that part of you, and you open your heart, and you trust, even if it is just for 10 seconds, for those 10 seconds you have forgiven.  You are at peace and your life is OK.  You have touched the place in you that does not need an enemy.  It is in you.  You just never looked for it.  Most of the time we look in the wrong place to try to heal, and so we do not find it.

So what we teach is many different ways to just connect to your own heart.  So you practice being in that state, so you want to talk from that state.  And when we practice forgiveness we say, “I want to tell a story that does not yank me out of my own heart.  By telling the same bitter, life is not fair, life is terrible stories I am making it impossible to feel good.”  Forgiveness means that you still have access to your heart.  But you cannot find that if you are telling bitter stories all of the time.

Remember the wonderful possibilities

So you need to stop sabotaging your own happiness by bitterness and complaining, altering your biololgy so that the bitterness becomes “normal.”  Some grieving is helpful because we can release the negative emotions in a positive way with people who are close, and learn from the experience.  But the problem with most of us is that we give too much attention to the small negative events and not enough attention to the rest of our lives, which many times have wonderful possibilities. 

When you forgive, you make a big change in your life.  When you will not forgive, you are not saying that you will not forgive just one little thing.  You are saying that because of that event your whole life is ruined.  No matter what happens, if you have enough gratitude like the saints do, then you would not lose your heart.  If you were a very strong meditator, with a long practice of compassion, you would not be so upset by these negative events.  But most of us are completely yanked out of our hearts when people do something that hurts us.

Conclusion

We cannot find our own heart.  We have found that people have to practice finding their own hearts, and stop telling stories that keep finding their own hearts impossible.  What you need is much more energy given to appreciating the positive aspects of your life, and less energy given to the negative stories. 

We remind people who have a basically good situation, with enough food to eat, water to drink, etc. that they can focus on these positive aspects to help keep up the balance of negative and positive.  They can tell the story about how terrible some event was, and they may have had something quite bad.  But then we ask them to add to the story something like,

“Yes I had some bad things happen, but my life is actually quite good because I am not going hungry, thirsty, etc. (like some people) and I have much to enjoy and appreciate.”

Dr. Fred Luskin Biography:

Dr. Fred Luskin has completed extensive research on the training and measurement of forgiveness therapy. His research demonstrates that learning forgiveness leads to increased physical vitality, hope, greater self–efficacy, enhanced optimism and conflict resolution skills. It also shows that forgiveness lessons the physical and emotional toll of stress, and decreases hurt, anger depression and blood pressure. 

He has worked with men and women from both sides of the violence in Northern Ireland who have had family members killed and with different groups of financial advisors after the stock market crash of 2000 to enhance their conflict resolution and stress management skills.

Dr. Luskin is the author of the best seller Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness and Stress Free for Good.  He has worked with many organizations and has trained lawyers, doctors, church leaders and congregations, hospital staffs, teachers and other professionals to manage stress and enhance forgiveness all over the United States.  Dr. Luskin’s work has been featured in Time magazineO magazine, Ladies Home JournalU.S. News and World ReportsParadePrevention as well as the New York TimesLos Angeles TimesChicago TribuneU.S.A. Today and the Wall Street Journal

Frederic Luskin, Ph.D. is the Director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Projects and an Associate Professor at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology.  He also serves as the Co Chair of the Garden of Forgiveness Project at Ground Zero in Manhattan.  

Yogic Guidelines to Alleviate Suffering

Yogic Guidelines to Alleviate Suffering

In this talk on Yogic Guidelines to Alleviate Suffering, Swamiji tells us that the causes of suffering are mental, emotional, and karmic.  Suffering comes from our ignorance, likes and dislikes, and fears.  If we can remember that the body and mind are our instruments and cultivate calmness, control of senses, turning inwards, balance, discrimination, and equal vision we can reduce our suffering.

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Yogic Guidelines to Alleviate Suffering

Yoga and Healing

This podcast is an a webinar by Swami Sitaramananda from 2016.  Swamiji discusses Yoga and Healing and how holistic healing of body, mind, and spirit can happen through the practice of yoga asana, pranayama, relaxation, and meditation.  Swamiji also discusses the new yoga therapy program that is being offered and how this helps us to return to our true nature.

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